a bowl of cherries and a spoonful of chocolate

i know what it's like to feel alone. to feel like you have nowhere to go. to feel like everytime you turn around..you've messed up again. i felt like that all this past year, and honestly...it got me nowhere. i was depressed, i wanted to die. i didn't care if i went to sleep and never woke up to see anyone again. the point is, all of those feelings have passed. for the most part. sure, i feel alone sometimes. sure, i get depressed about things now and then. and yes, there are even days when i want to go to sleep and never wake up. but then come the good days. the days when you see a friend smile at you, hear a good joke, or your favorite song comes on the radio. those are the moments i live for. the good ones. those are the things that keep me going..the things that make me get up in the morning. a good friend of mine (he calls himself the sexiest man alive..go figure) is going through some hard times right now, and i just want him to know that he's not alone. that i'm here.

so other than the drama at panera tonight, nothing new is happening. my sickness was short lived. although i'm still feeling a little out of it...it'll pass in the next 24 hours. i went to steak and shake with jordan from work tonight. we had a really, really good talk about things. "things" being religious beliefs. *gasp* yeah i know. but this wasn't one of those "cassie defends herself while people look at her oddly" conversations. he actually listened. i haven't quite decided what to make of it yet...give me a few days.

in a related story....i ate a big spoonful of chocolate syrup (don't ask) and it was totally sweet and gross. now i will be up (along with jordan, who..for some reason..did it with me) for the next 5 hours. ah the wonders of steak and shake sundaes.