My day. Summed up.

After my classes, I drove over to McKay's. I was on a mission-to find a nutrition book for class. Once inside, I completely forgot about the stupid book...and learned some interesting things about myself.

I love Disney movies. Love them. I knew that I liked them, but I spent a good 15 minutes browsing through the latest arrivals at McKay's...and was actually sad when I couldn't find one that I wanted.

And then, I went on over the book section. Now, I'll admit I was looking in the "young adult" section, but I was actually searching for a certain book from my youth...so I didn't feel bad. That is, until I reached the series section.

Oh yes. The series section.

There I found all the books of my childhood. Sweet Valley High, The Boxcar Children, Goosebumps, Babysitters Club...the list goes on. Some of my favorite authors were there as well: Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume, Caroline Clooney, Lois Duncan. I was in heaven. I spent another 45 minutes to an hour in that section alone...and actually bought five books.

Yes. My reading comprehension (maybe not spelling) is very high, and I love Disney movies and those "young adult" books.

I am a huge nerd.

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Warren said to me tonight: "You need to work on your inner lesbian."

Yeah.

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Jeremy and I tried to watch The Passion tonight. I couldn't make it through the scene where they were beating him..and so I went home.

I guess it really takes a big person to understand and sit and watch. The first time, I had a million questions and I didn't cry. I was in shock, and the movie touched me deeply...but I didn't cry.

Tonight, I couldn't sit still. I told Jeremy that Satan (in the movie) was beautiful, and he laughed. Anyone who has seen it, should know what I'm talking about. Yes, he's ugly...but he's also beautiful. He was an angel once, and you can see that in his face. It scared me.

I was getting angry at the whole situation. True, Jesus was meant to die. It was only meant to happen the way it did, and I kept wondering what things would be like if anything had been different. It's unimaginable, yet, I wanted to yell at the t.v. It just isn't fair.

I get mad at God all the time. I get frusterated, and although I talk to him about it...I don't really think he hears. I know, it's part of being human, and I always come back full circle. It was just rough watching it again.

There is one thing though. One thing that has always stuck with me, and has always made me feel so much love for our Lord. It's when he says "Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do." Such compassion from a man crucified by the people he loves most. Such unthinkable loyalty. It's amazing.

It makes me forget the hurt I hold in my heart for those who have hurt me, it turns my frustration into peace, and my hope into bigger hope.

We serve an awesome God.