I just want lilacs and a disney movie marathon...why do people suck?
In fact, if we thought less and listened to what our heart actually was saying...we'd probably be a lot better off. Disagree if you want, but I just had the pleasure of learning this the hard way.
I'm pissed. I should have seen it coming. I should have read the signs that were flashing right in my face...but did I pay attention? Hell no. I chose to do what I wanted, regardless of what my 'shoulder angel' was telling me.
This is kind of confusing, so let me explain:
I've been hanging out with this "guy" recently. To protect the jerk (although I'm not sure why I'd want to) I'll call him John. We haven't been hanging out very long, but I was seriously intrigued by him at first. He isn't in my group of friends, so that automatically made it interesting. He said I was one of the most beautiful girls he'd ever seen. He was intelligent, and actually wanted my company. He knew so much about everything, and I just loved to sit and take it all in. The fact that he was planning to travel for the next few months didn't bother me, I was content to let things happen the way they were going to.
I should have known that he was going to turn out to be a jerk. I should have known dammit. And the fact that I ignored the little red flags pisses me off.
I asked him to be straight with me. I directly asked him if I was the only girl he was seeing, or if there were more. He denied it. In fact, more than that, he made it seem like I was being a psycho paranoid girl to even ask such a thing. I had thought there were more, and that I was one of two..or even three. But no, he said I wasn't. So I believed him. After all, we all know that I'm a bit paranoid about boys right now.
Apparently I was right on. Do you think I got this info from him, though? Nope. I got it from someone who thought I deserved better, someone who actually cares about how I feel. The bastard actually talked to a friend of mine about it, asked her not to tell, and thought it would be all good.
Piece of advice for all the shitty guys out there: Don't act like an ass, confess to someone who isn't involved, ask them to keep your nasty secret, and expect it to happen. You have got to be out of your mind.
I'm humiliated.
I believed the things he told me. I believed that he actually liked me. I wasted time hanging out with him when I could have been with my friends...people who really care. I thought that since he hadn't known me for years like my friends, what he said must be true. I must be beautiful, right? He hasn't known me for long..and he thinks so..it has to be true. He wanted to hang out with me, so it must mean that I'm good company.
I haven't decided whether I want to throw things, or sit here and cry over the sheer embarassment of it all.
I'd rather remain single the rest of my days than be treated like I don't matter.
How much worse could this get?
