::Unexpected Liberation::
"drinking coffee; making plans to change the world."

And I learned myself, ma!

May 05, 2005
Oh, to be humble.

Goodness. That didn't sound right, did it? Let me try again.

Oh, to be a prideful person and have to swallow it and enter the pit of humility. A nice pit.

Yes. Much better.

No, no. I am not wishing for these things, I am actually lamenting the fact that I am these things. Prideful and not too good at swallowing it.

Horrible, horrible girl.

Also related to that ugly word: haughty, sniffy, and supercilious. Sheesh. Seems to me that I am a one woman show of contempt and arrogant superiority. Yuck.

In all honesty, none of this is really true. The word "prideful" is used far too much, and not always in the right context. However, it does take me awhile to admit when I'm wrong and to realize that not everyone is out to prove that true.

I'm learning, everyday, that people are what they are. They aren't like me, and they aren't going to always view things the way that I do. It's rough, because even though everyone hates people who think the world revolves around them, in all actuality-the world does revolve around them. My world revolves around me, and your world revolves around you. We are the only people who knows that goes on in our heads, and the only people who have our thoughts...the way we see the world and expect/hope it to be is completely our own. Okay...cutting the head-y psychological crap now, honest.

The point is, I learned something cool about myself today.

I am not as hard headed and stubborn as most people think I am....and as I think myself to be.

I do have the power to back down, to let things go, to apologize, and to move the frick on.

Caring about people will do that to you. Sure, I can stay mad and shut down instantly...but it just can't last. I love the people in my life way too much, and not having them around is far worse than holding something against them because I see it differently.

Like Heather Lynn and I. Goodness, that girl and I are soooooo different in soooooo many ways. We have arguments, and have totally had days where we didn't speak. Unlike other people in my life however, I really do care for her. Yeah, it's rough admitting that we view things different, and admitting that something I have said or done has actually been hurtful (when I didn't think it was)...but the friendship is so much more incredible than that. Awesome girls are hard to come by, and trusting people is even harder. These days, you just can't..and it's sad. The stupid quotes, the stories, the music, the car rides, the arguing at work and driving everyone crazy, the laughing at things nobody cares about (you so threw that plate on purpose), the doing-absolutely-nothing-and-still-having-a-good-time times that we always seem to have....they are totally worth those stupid arguments that are an inevitable part of every relationship. Ever. Period.

Same thing goes for Seth and I. We are so alike, and yet, SO DIFFERENT. I know I drive him crazy, I know he doesn't understand me sometimes, and I know that not every aspect of our relationship is going to be perfect. He is one of those rare people in my life though; one of the crazy, happy, God loving, amazing, patient people who recognizes that he doesn't understand me yet, but is still willing to try. Our bad times are no match for our good ones, and they are just things we work through and move on.

Life will invariably present you with an ass bite; and you'll just have to move on and learn to look behind you.


8:26 p.m. ::
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