"get out of here you silly woman!"

Since I only have a few minutes left before it becomes Sunday, I will update you in no orderly fashion about how life has been since my last entry.

I spent the day in a canoe (I think that's how you spell it). We canoed about four miles, tried to race boats, explored an island, got stared at, "hauled some major butt", and then I got to stand and watch people try and catch minnows off the dock. "...cause I am a predator!" It was fun. I learned a lot and got to spend a few hours in the sun with nature. It was beautiful.

Tonight, I went to dinner with my friends-"Sacajawea?" and watched a movie by myself until the moths and other flying night creatures coming in through the open window with long legs freaked me out. Paul saved me after I demanded that he "be a man" and do so. "I am the bee killer." Nice work.

I stole some pool balls from the pool table and tried to run....and was caught. I got to lay on a hammock for the very first time...except it kept tipping because Jeremy wouldn't move. It was a good day. A happy day.

I also found out that Rick is engaged.

I wasn't supposed to know, because he didn't want me finding out. Luckily, I have really amazing people as my friends...and I was told. It doesn't bother me, and it doesn't surprise me either...I saw it coming a long time ago.

This discovery led to a good conversation. The one that's been in my head for awhile now, but hardly talked about.

Rick and I never would have worked. As strange as it is to admit this, it's true. We are two totally different people, going two totally different ways in life and simply wouldn't have worked. I needed this year to do some growing up, and it took us breaking up to do so. I needed to be on my own, find what makes me who I am, and live my life the way I want. I stumbled nearly every second of this year, but I made it.

I can't even begin to explain how different my life would have turned out had we stayed together. I would probably be engaged right now, school would be a maybe, I never would have started working at Starbucks, I never would have started working with those kids, my life would be as empty as it was while we were dating....yet, I would have my man.

It's easy to think about this now, after the fact. Back then, I was in love. Completely and totally...with every fiber of my being...I was in love. I was so devoted, I wasn't paying attention to my life, and I would have ultimately paid the price for that.

I also never would have met Seth.

Never would have had our first meeting at Starbucks, our first car ride-"I love my car. If you make fun of it I'll kill you.", our first church service-"You're late.", our first Signal Mountain trip, our first hand holding experience-"I just couldn't resist you anymore.", our silly jokes:"Let's go wakeboarding"....and so many other things.

I would have settled at nineteen. I would have had my twenty first birthday either married or nearly so.

I'm not sad. I'm not angry. I'm not anything. I think I saw this coming before anyone else did, because I knew Rick better than anyone else did....and I knew it would happen. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I just knew.

So that was my day.

Happy Sabbath, kids.