Stay or Leave.

It's been awhile since I've done this.

Hello diaryland. How are you?

So yes. I have a new look to this page now, and I love it.

The music I am listening to is causing my thoughts to wander. Please excuse the short sentences and random thought. I just feel like writing, though I have nothing much to say.

Yet. We'll see where this goes.

I sat outside my house today and broke some plates. It was highly entertaining, and I even managed to get super glue all over my hands. This is probably where I should explain that I was breaking them for art purposes, and the super glue was for gluing the aformentioned broken plate into a random design for a mosaic.

Wow. Long sentence. I surely would have been marked down in English class for that one. Anyway.

Broken plate. Super glue all over my hands. Sunny day. My driveway. Pizza. The keywords to a lovely afternoon.

Now, sitting back in my chair, headphones on, Dave Matthews working his magic, I feel off.

I know that I always talk about loving life. About how amazing the world is. About how wonderful things are going. And it's all true.

And I feel off.

Maybe it's because no matter how much I like to think that life is what it is, there are undeniable truths that I like to deny.

Like the fact that Robbie knows me better than anyone else, and our relationship will always be one of crazy closeness regardless of everyone else in our lives.

Or the fact that, at this point in my life, I am sure that I am incapable of falling in love again.

And even the fact that I am happiest when driving alone. Or sitting right here.

The hardest thing to learn: Realizing you never had something you thought you did. I have learned it time and time again, and it never ceases to amaze me.

I need to step everything down a notch. I have been moving too fast, expecting too much, needing so little. I want to get back to the simplicity of it all; escape back to before.

Before I felt off. Before I felt like I was going crazy.

Or everyone around me was going crazy.

Thank Dave Matthews for this entry. He always knows how to bring it out.