pure confusion with much thought

i always hated being told what to do, what to wear, how to do my hair, and what i should believe.

i guess thats why i became somewhat of a teenage "rebel" at an early age. i did things that most kids my age didn't, said things to my parents i probably shouldn't have, and felt like i could do anything.

even now, i hate the rules. i hate having to stop and think about right and wrong and whether my actions are seriously going to have consequences.

i like living my life the way i want.

it's tough though, because now i feel like i'm living for someone else. life isn't all about me and my feelings anymore, it's about more than that.

*sigh*

i'm confused.