I'm a morbid freak.
I could die driving to Nashville, my plane could crash, and it's a possibilty that I might die in Seattle as well.
Yes, it's very sad. And a horrible way to think...
I, though, have been blessed with traveler's anxiety. It's a wonderful condition that makes me virtually unable to think of my upcoming trip in a positive manner, and it won't let up until I arrive in Washington.
And so, going back to the point of this entry, I have decided I wanted to write about myself.
Ha. And you thought this would be a narcissism-free entry, didn't you?
In all honesty though, I don't think people know me all that well. I write constantly, and you'd think that it would help them come to grips with who I am...or at least give 'em a good start.
Well, just in case...
I am average. To sum it up in three words...I am average. I have an average family of average size, I work at an average job, and my brains and beauty are average. This doesn't bother me much, because I know something that nobody else knows (until now). My future is going to be anything BUT average.
All my life I've grown up wanting to "show" people. I've wanted to prove to them that I'm not who they think, and that my thoughts and opinions are different from those of everyone around me. This could very well be true, but as I've grown older, it has seemed less and less probable. I am like a lot of people out there, just wanting to be heard.
Now, that idea has lost most of it's appeal.
My future seems to be completely my own. I'm not doing something that I thought others would approve of, and although I'm totally excited, it wasn't even my idea to begin with. Nope, if I could've had my way, I would be going to school for Broadcasting...NOT nursing. No, this plan was God's Plan. He directed to into the nursing programs, and He gave me the excitement and hope to get started. So, no matter how average the rest of my life is, I have a future that was specifically designed for me.
As far as my outspoken attitude that most of you know, that hasn't changed much:)
I still have as many thoughts and wide-eyed ideas as I did before, and possibly more. Just don't go up against me about the North and South or gay people...and we'll be fine. Some things will never change...
My new passions are scarves, tanktops and fruity lip gloss. I have always hated tanktops, but this summer has been one filled with massive tanktop wearing. The scarves: I can't explain. And the lip gloss is self explanatory...everyone likes to lick their lips, why not taste something fruity too?
My friends are ALWAYS making fun of me. I just set myself up, I guess: "Hey Cassie...Brent Ford." or "So, did you sleep well last night?" and "Who likes lima beans?" It's all in good fun, and the best thing I can do is laugh. I really am ridiculous sometimes.
My newest talents involve breaking and entering, plumbing and quoting myself. See what I mean by ridiculous? I am in love with many types of art, music and photography. I'm hard to please, but once you do, I'm yours forever.
The worst thing about me is my blunt nature. I can say the meanest things in the heat of the moment, and even get ahead of myself and then NOT say what I actually meant to say. I would instead say something totally different, not realizing it until the other person was already mad at me. I'm a totally confusing girl, but I have good intentions and would NEVER hurt someone on purpose.
I hated my school expierience. I can't say it enough. I HATED SCHOOL. Not because I was a bad student, but because I disliked many of the cliques that manifested and INfested the school. I hated people making constant fun of other people because they were "different" and I hated seeing people ostracized because they didn't have as much money as some. I have been guilty of that in the past (as we all have), but seeing it day after day made me dislike a lot of people and end up with a somewhat cynical attitude towards making friends. Luckily, I have moved on.
Just like any normal person, I get depressed. It used to be a huge issue to me, but over time, I have realized that I am no different than millions of people out there. Always striving to be "someone", I thought my depression was bigger or more extreme than others. Nope, I'm just a normal girl with normal problems. Hallejuah. I do, however, have some aniexty issues that cause problems. I'm just a spaz I guess, and I can't relax. Over time, I'm sure that will pass as well.
I have a HUGE foot phobia that keeps me freaked, and my friends laughing. I don't know what it is about the feet of other people, but they are so GROSS! Either their nails aren't trimmed, or there is dry skin everywhere. It's called FOOT LOTION. Use it, guys.
Hmmmm. Could this be the end of my tell-all entry?
I suppose this was written only to serve the purpose of keeping me from packing. And I might die without ever telling you guys who I am...:)
Okay, that wasn't funny. You're right...
Seriously, I hope you guys miss me while I'm gone!! Please email and leave me lots of notes of love! I'll update when I can.
Much love....
