Is it worth it?

Both are appealing, both have good points, and both have very bad points.

There is Life #1:

I live in Seattle. I'm going to school for my future career in broadcasting, and spending lots of time with my sister. We go into the city on weekends and enjoy life together with our friends. I'm close to my family in Idaho, and am picking up the lifestyle I thought I'd lost forever. I'm happy. Content.

And then there is Life #2:

I decide to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I get married, continue going to school (this time for nursing), start a family 5 or 6 years down the road, and live in the north. Destination unknown. I find peace and security. I find a loving family with which I am now a part of. I become a nurse eventually, and my husband and I live happily for many years. I'm happy. Content.

Both of these lives are possible, but I can only have one. They don't mix, they don't even threaten to weave together. I can't have one without losing the other...and I just don't know which one I want.

I'm not entirely unhappy in my current life. Surrounding the past few months was a certain magic, a magic that made me powerful and in control. Now, nothing is in my control and my life seems to be on pause. It's waiting for me to decide where I want to steer it...and I have no idea.