a lack of understanding
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"Because I'm just a little girl you see...but there's a hell of a lot more to me..don't ever underestimate what I can do..or tell me how I'm meant to be."
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There is never a day when I am fully happy.
I am always, always preoccupied with something 'out of the moment', and am never fully living in the figurative sense.
Even thinking about how far I've come, and how much farther I am able to go does nothing to ease these thoughts.
I will always be stuck. Always moving backwards, even if it appears that I am moving forwards.
Memories of past wrongs flood to the very core of my being, and the embarassment and guilt are almost too much to bear sometimes.
I can't communicate this to anyone. Talking to clear my head comes out sounding like pleas for sympathy, and chances are, they aren't really listening anyway.
And so, I write. My deep yearning to write envelopes the silence, confusion and proud feelings I posess.